I Don’t Have It All Figured Out Either
The Clarity I Thought Was Coming
I used to think there was a point in life where everything would just make sense, you know, like an age where it becomes all clear and right. That one day, I would wake up and feel sure ,about my career, my purpose, my choices, even myself. I thought clarity was something you arrived at. Something solid. Something permanent. Well, turns out, that day has been running farther away the more I grow.
If I’m being honest, I am still figuring a lot of things out, and I mean, a lot. I have direction, yes. I know what I care about. I know the kind of life I want to build. But the “how” is not always clear, coupled with other hurdles. The path is not always straight. And some days, I feel like I’m moving forward and questioning everything at the same time.
Like maybe I missed something along the way, or I did not share something that was forwarded to me on facebook (LOL). Like everyone else had some kind of blueprint that I didn’t get. You see people making big moves, announcing milestones, stepping into roles that look so certain, and you start to wonder what you’re doing wrong.
The Blueprint I Never Got
But the more I pay attention, not to what people show, but to real conversations, the more I realize something important: a lot of people are not as sure as they look. They’re also trying and adjusting. They’re making decisions and then figuring them out after. The difference is that we don’t always see that part, we see what they post, and what they show and I think that’s where the pressure comes from. Not just from life itself, but from the idea that you’re supposed to have clarity early and hold onto it forever.
I think life is a lot more fluid than we were taught to expect, a lot of crooked roads, never straightforward. I think you can be committed and still uncertain. I think you can have a vision and still question your steps. I think you can be growing and not feel like it at all and I have come to be honest to myself.
There are things I’m building toward, a life that allows me to teach, to write, to create impact. That hasn’t changed. But the way I get there is still unfolding. There are opportunities I’m working toward, paths I’m exploring, decisions I’m making without having all the answers and still confused but this time around, seeing it as a normal part of life, this that used to scare me.
Because I thought every step had to be “right.” I thought if I made a wrong move, it would set me back or close doors I needed later. So I hesitated. I overthought. I waited for clarity that never really came. What I’m learning now is that clarity doesn’t always come before action. Sometimes it comes because you moved.
You try something, and it teaches you what works and what doesn’t. You take a step, and it shows you what you actually want , not just what you thought you wanted. You go through experiences that shape your thinking in ways you couldn’t have predicted. It’s not neat. It’s not always comfortable.
There are still days I question myself. Days I wonder if I’m doing enough, or moving fast enough, or choosing the right things. I won’t pretend those thoughts disappear. But they don’t control me the way they used to and that is is because I’ve started to understand that not having everything figured out is not a failure, it is only part of the process and come to think of it, if everything was just smooth and sweet, what would be the exciting part?
One Step at a Time (Cliche, but worth it)
I want to say this as clearly as I can: you don’t need to have it all figured out to be moving in the right direction, at least from my experience in life and work, you can always start from where you are. And onf thing I have come to learn is that you can take one step, and then another, even if you’re not completely sure where it’s leading. You can change your mind. You can adjust. You can grow into a different version of yourself than the one you imagined a few years ago.That doesn’t mean you’re inconsistent. It means you’re evolving.
There is a kind of quiet strength in allowing yourself to be in progress. Not rushing to label everything. Not forcing answers just to feel in control. Just doing the work, paying attention, and letting things become clearer over time. I’m still learning how to do that too. Some days I get it right. Some days I fall back into overthinking and doubt. But overall, I’m less afraid of not knowing than I used to be.
So if you’re reading this and feeling like you’re behind, a lot of people feel the same way too and it does not have to feel like you ALWAYS have it figured out.
Dorcas Kongwie
